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3:00 AM Marginalia: Crocheting Beanies at 3 AM in South Florida | Theology of Everyday Life

3:00 AM Marginalia: Crocheting Beanies at 3 AM in South Florida | Theology of Everyday Life

3:00 AM Marginalia: Crocheting Beanies at 3 AM in South Florida

Yarn in hand, hook moving in the dark. Grace should be for everyone here. My heart hasn't agreed yet.

Eternal First Words | November 2025

Crochet hook and yarn forming a beanie in dim South Florida night light

Three a.m. South Florida humidity clings even indoors. The AC hums, the yarn glides through my fingers. I'm crocheting another beanie—simple ribbed hat, nothing fancy. In this heat, you'd think potholders or dishcloths make more sense, but nursing homes run cold. Residents need head warmth, ears covered. Who knew my hooks would matter here?

My friend's son is 27, quadriplegic from a head-on crash. He lies still, tears sometimes slipping. I see him weekly—his mother, 50, still grinding to make sure aides turn him right, meds on time. Then there are others: young ones, 20s and 30s, arrived via overdose, street life, no home to discharge to. Hospital to nursing home—last stop. If they walk out, it's homelessness. So they stay.

But the other day patience snapped. This guy, about 30, 6'2", backward cap, blasting music, pacing hallways. Walking. Talking. Complaining the meatloaf edges aren't crispy, mashed potatoes need extra gravy. I turned to the nurse: "Why is he here?" She shrugged. Meanwhile my friend's son can't move, can't speak his pain. The contrast burned. Not fair. Not logical. Not what grace is supposed to look like.

Rain falls on just and unjust alike.
Grace doesn't grade on injury.
But resentment keeps score.

I know the verses. Everything for a reason. No promise of happiness. Love neighbor anyway. A plus B doesn't equal C—never has. I could sit by the 27-year-old's bed, open the Bible: "In the beginning was the Word... God so loved the world..." Tell him this broken body is where second life starts. What can you make of it? I do that. But the hallway pacer? My heart says no. I haven't crocheted him a beanie. Won't. Not yet. Maybe not ever. And that stings worse than the humidity.

At three in the morning, the hook pauses. Grace covers the quadriplegic's tears and the complainer's gravy demands. It has to. But knowing that doesn't make my fingers move for him. The yarn sits. The question hangs: When does neighbor love override what feels like injustice? I don't have the answer. Just stitches for some, silence for others.

That's enough. For tonight. The beanie for someone else waits.

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